The Plot Bunnies of Doom
by RuneWitchSakura
Summary: The Plot Bunnies of Doom have struck me with so many ideas, I get a few chapters of one story and then run out of ideas. Said Plot Bunny inspired stories will go here, where hopefully, a wonderful author or authoress will come and adopt them.
1. Arashi Lives DIDN'T THINK OF TITLE

Yes, the Plot Bunnies of Doom have struck me again...damn bunnies. This is in Misc - Crossovers, just because I get plot bunnies from various fandoms, and all the ones I want to get rid of are going here.

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Summary: What if, instead of the Yondaime sacrificing himself when he sealed the Kyuubi, he sacrificed the life of a Missing-Nin named Hitogoroshi. And both Hito and Kyu are sealed in Naruto. And Hinata gets adopted by Yondaime!

Intended Rating: T

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"**_KYUUBI TALKING TO NARUTO AND HITOGOROSHI._**"

"**Hitogoroshi talking to Kyuubi and Naruto.**"

"_Naruto talking to Hitogoroshi and Kyuubi or Naruto thinking._"

"Regular talking."

Prologue

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Arashi Kazama sighed as he looked over the scroll he had recently found. It was the only way to get rid of the Kyuubi, but he knew his wife, Koiji, would never allow him to do it.

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Sarutobi watched with a heavy heart as the Yondaime Hokage argued his wife. Sarutobi knew that Arashi would never sacrifice any one of the Konoha villagers, no matter how old they were. Arashi would only sacrifice himself if he used this seal against the Kyuubi. Unless…

"Arashi. Koiji," Sarutobi interrupted the fighting, "What if I said, I had a way to use this seal without Arashi having to sacrifice himself."

"How?" Koiji asked.

"The seal requires a sacrifice, but it doesn't necessarily have to be the caster's life," Sarutobi began.

"I will not sacrifice the life of any villagers," Arashi interrupted. Sarutobi laughed.

"Not the villagers, Arashi. You know me better than that."  
"Then who?" Koiji asked.

"I'm sure the both of you remember the S-Class Missing-Nin you two caught a few weeks ago."

"Yes," the two replied. Arashi winced a little though, not particularly wanting to remember what happened.

"Ibiki's done interrogating him, and he's still alive."

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Chapter 1

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"**_KYUUBI TALKING TO NARUTO AND HITOGOROSHI._**"

"**Hitogoroshi talking to Kyuubi and Naruto.**"

"Regular talking."

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Hitogoroshi sat in his cell and cursed his luck. He had managed to just defeat the Yellow Flash of Konoha when said man's wife knocked him unconscious by way of rock to the head. And she was pregnant too, for Kami's sake. She shouldn't have been able to lift that big of a rock at what looked to be eight or nine months along. But she did. And he was stuck in a cell after being interrogated by Ibiki. How the hell he managed to survive that, he had no idea.

Hitogoroshi glared in the general direction of the door as two people came in the room. One he recognized as the Yellow Flash. The other was an old man he didn't know.

"Back to gloat," Hitogoroshi smirked at them. Arashi glared, but Sarutobi responded before him.

"No," the old man smiled, sadistically, "Just to use you as a sacrifice to protect the village."

Hitogoroshi paled.

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"I'm sure the both of you remember the S-Class Missing-Nin you two caught a few weeks ago."

"Yes," the two replied. Arashi winced a little though, not particularly wanting to remember what happened.

"Ibiki's done interrogating him, and he's still alive."

"Ibiki interrogated him, _and_ he's still alive," Koiji said, "That's a first."

"Would you like to go see him?" Sarutobi asked. Arashi nodded, but Koiji declined.

"You two go ahead," she said, "I have to go see Tsunade for my checkup." She put her had on her rounded belly.

"Are you sure you should be going alone," Arashi said, slipping into Protective-Father-To-Be mode.

"I'll be fine; go," Koiji said, as she pushed them out the door. Koiji smiled, as she heard Sarutobi dragging a now reluctant Arashi along with him.

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Sarutobi and Arashi walked into the hospital room, just as Tsunade was finishing up.

"Everything looks okay, Koiji," she said, "He should be born any day now, so get ready."

"Thanks Tsunade."

"No problem." Tsunade left the room, after nodding to Sarutobi and Arashi. She had to go see what her mischievous little niece had been up to lately.

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Two Days Later

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"Keep pushing Koiji-san," the nurse said. Two ANBU entered the room.

"Hokage-sama. The demon is in sight," the one with the bird-mask reported.

"Now? Dammit," Arashi said.

"Go," said Koiji, "Hurry up. You need to get the Missing-Nin before Kyuubi gets here." Arashi nodded, kissed his wife on the forehead, and left the room.

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Hitogoroshi, having resigned himself to his fate, followed Arashi willingly. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the Kyuubi nearing the village.

"That thing's huge."

"That's why I'm sealing it," Arashi said, "Anything you wanna tell me before you die?"  
"Orochimaru's gathering Missing-Nin from all over in Otogakure."

"And you didn't tell this to Ibiki?"

"I _do_ have pride you know." Arashi smiled a little.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry for doing this to you." Hitogoroshi snorted.

"I doubt that."

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Hitogoroshi woke up and looked around. He was in a cell that was a little different than his last one.

"**Maybe that was all a dream,**" he said out loud.

"**_DON'T COUNT ON IT,_**" was the answer he received.

"**Who the hell-**" Hitogoroshi started, but stopped when he saw what spoke.

"**_WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME,_**" the Kyuubi said.

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Chapter 2

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"**_KYUUBI TALKING TO NARUTO AND HITOGOROSHI._**"

"**Hitogoroshi talking to Kyuubi and Naruto.**"

"_Naruto talking to Hitogoroshi and Kyuubi or Naruto thinking._"

"Regular talking."

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Arashi stood in the room, an hour after the Kyuubi was sealed, holding his newborn son. Koiji had named him Naruto with her last breath. Arashi stuck with the name. No one in the village knew what had happened yet, only that the Kyuubi disappeared in a flash of light.

None of them knew if Arashi was still alive, except for Kakashi, Sarutobi, Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Ibiki. Arashi knew that the people of the village were in pain. They would seek someone to blame for their pain, and they would eventually blame Naruto for their problems. He made a split second decision.

"Tell them I died," he told Sarutobi, "Tell the villagers that I died while sealing the Kyuubi. I'll take Naruto and go. I have a place ready just outside Konoha, where the villagers won't find us."

"Are you sure you wish to do this, Arashi?" Jiraiya asked.

"I'm sure. I'll return to the village when Naruto has become a Gennin and can take care of himself."

"If you're sure," Sarutobi said, "then I shall go tell them. I would suggest you leave tonight, under the cover of darkness. I'll take over as Hokage. For a while, at least."

"Right."

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Six Years Later

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Arashi watched as Naruto played outside. It came as a great surprise to him, when he taught Naruto to contact the fox, and use it's chakra, that Hitogoroshi had been sealed as well. Naruto now had nicknames for the both of them. Kyuubi was called Kyuu much to his - or rather hers, as the Kyuubi turned out to be female - displeasure. Hitogoroshi didn't mind being called Hito. Mainly because it pissed 'Kyuu' off that he liked his nickname while she hated hers.

Arashi saw as Naruto tensed. Being the container of the Kyuubi had it's advantages, like super senses for instance. And by the way he was tensing, Naruto had just heard something.

"Dad," he called, "I think there's someone crying down by the river."

"Alright, lets go see, and remember what I said," Arashi replied.

"Don't be seen," Naruto grinned, "Gotcha."

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Hinata Hyuuga could never be good enough in her father's eyes. To him, she was nothing but a failure. She decided that she couldn't take anymore, and she ran away, into the forest surrounding Konoha. But now she was lost, and had no one to help her. She sat down my a river and started to cry.

Her head popped up off it's place on her knees, when she heard footsteps from behind her. She turned to see a blonde man she had only seen in photos before, and gasped.

"Y-you're the Yond-daime," she stuttered.

"And you are a Hyuuga," he replied, "Hinata, I presume." Hinata nodded.

"A-are you really h-him? T-tou-san said h-he d-died a long t-time ag-go."

"I had the Sandaime tell people that so I could spend time with my son," Arashi said, "Can you keep that a secret?"

"Uh-huh," Hinata nodded, "Will you ever come back to Konoha?"

"When my son becomes a genin I will," he replied, "And we're not to far from Konoha now. Will you tell me why you're here, and not there?"

"M-my Tou-san says th-that I'm j-just a f-fail-lure a-at everything I-I do, so I r-ran away," Hinata stuttered.

"No ones a failure at everything," Arashi said, "How about you stay with me for a little while? You can meet my son Naruto."

"Ok-kay."

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Sarutobi stared at the letter he had just received from Arashi. Apparently the Hyuuga heiress had run away two days ago. This was the first time he heard of it. He had summoned Hiashi, her father, into his office, and asked what was going on.

"The girl is nothing but a failure," Hiashi said, "Her sister isn't even a year old yet and can fight better than her. Hinata is in no way nor will she ever be a Hyuuga." Hiashi stormed out of the office. Sarutobi sighed and penned his reply to the Yondaime, thinking one thing:

If Arashi ever gets his hands on Hiashi, we'll never be able to find the body. If there'd even be one left to find.

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Chapter 3

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"**_KYUUBI TALKING TO NARUTO AND HITOGOROSHI._**"

"**Hitogoroshi talking to Kyuubi and Naruto.**"

"_Naruto talking to Hitogoroshi and Kyuubi or Naruto thinking._"

"**_Two or More (Hito, Kyu, and Naruto) talking at once_**"

"Regular talking."

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Two Years Later

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"**_STUPID GAKI!_**" Kyuu yelled.

"_Stupid Fox!_" Naruto yelled back.

Hito sighed. This had been going on for about two hours now, and he was starting to get a headache.

"**Could the two of you tone it down a little?**" he asked.

"**_NO! STAY OUT OF THIS!_**" they yelled together.

"**_STUPID GAKI!_**"

"_Stupid Fox!_"

"**_STUPID GAKI!_**"

"_Stupid Fox!_"

"**_STUPID GAKI!_**"

"_Stupid Fox!_"

"**_STUPID GAKI!_**"

"_Stupid Fox!_"

"**What I need is a pair of muzzles,**" Hito said to himself, closing his eyes.

"**_STUPID GAKI!_**"

"_Stupid Fox!_"

"**_STU-MPHH!_**"

"_MPHHMPH!_"

Hito opened his eyes to find both Kyuu _and_ Naruto wearing muzzles. He laughed. Fate seemed to have a sense of humor. At least in his opinion. 'Cause Kyuu and Naruto didn't think so. Hito settled down and closed his eyes.

It was time for that long awaited nap.

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"Naruto, Nii-san, come on!" Hinata said. (1)

"Wazzah?" Naruto mumbled, finally waking up.

"We start at the academy today, don't you remember?"

"Ah!" Naruto shot out of bed, and got dressed. Hinata giggled at her brother's antics. After Hiashi had disowned her last year, Arashi had formally adopted her. Though their last names were legally Kazama, both Hinata and Naruto were going into the academy under the name of Uzumaki. A still giggling Hinata followed Naruto downstairs to the kitchen.

"What's for breakfast Dad?" Naruto asked.

"Pancakes today," Arashi replied, before smiling, "And yes, Naruto, they have chocolate chips in them."

"YEAH! ALRIGHT!" Naruto yelled. Hinata giggled again.

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Neji Hyuuga was watching from the shadows as the new Academy students arrived. There was one in particular he was looking for. His cousin - or rather, ex-cousin, Hinata. Hiashi had disowned her a year before, but the Sandaime would not allow him to claim her dead. So Neji was told to wait at the Academy entrance to see if she would show up. If she did not, then no matter what the Sandaime said, Hiashi would declare Hinata Hyuuga dead to the world.

As Neji saw two figures come running up the street, he smirked, for Hiashi Hyuuga would never get that pleasure.

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(1) Hinata is the same age as Naruto but was born on December 27th, while Naruto was born on October 10th, so she's younger than him and calls him big brother.

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Chapter 4

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"**_KYUUBI TALKING TO NARUTO AND HITOGOROSHI._**"

"**Hitogoroshi talking to Kyuubi and Naruto.**"

"_Naruto talking to Hitogoroshi and Kyuubi or Naruto thinking._"

"**_Two or More (Hito, Kyu, and Naruto) talking at once_**"

"Regular talking."

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"Hurry, Naruto!" Hinata called, running to the Academy entrance, "We're going to be late!"

"Not…at the rate…we're running," Naruto huffed. Naruto running out of breath shows you how far away their house was from the academy. Though for some reason, Hinata didn't show any signs of being tired. Naruto attributed it to her being a morning person. They started searching for their class, the moment the two of them got into the academy. For some reason, all the Teachers glared at Naruto…till they saw Hinata glaring back at them. Hinata's glare was the scariest thing in the universe in Naruto's opinion. The two of them finally got to the right class, and took their seats just as their teacher came in.

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Sarutobi sighed as he picked up his grandson, and followed Hiashi Hyuuga, who was currently storming through the halls of the academy. Hiashi was a little pissed, that his daughter Hinata was out of his reach.

You see, Hiashi had come to the school, demanding to see Hinata. And he was led to courtyard where she was having lunch.

As he approached her, he was stopped by a Chuunin, telling them that if he wanted to talk with her, he had to be in the presence of the Hokage.

So, after glaring at the Chuunin, whose name was Iruka, he set off for the Hokage tower, and demanded to see him.

He argued with the Hokage for a while, who very kindly reminded him that he _had_ disowned Hinata, and therefore she was no longer his daughter.

He was also informed that her it was adoptive father, whose name was apparently an S-Class secret, who would not allow him to talk with her unless the Hokage was present.

All in all, this pissed off Hiashi Hyuuga beyond his limits of patience. Way beyond. Which meant Fate was happy with herself.

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Hinata nearly giggled when she saw Hiashi come into the courtyard, followed by Sarutobi holding Konohamaru. Hiashi seemed a little pissed.

"'Nata! 'Ruto!" Konohamaru called, before squirming his way out of Sarutobi's arms and running to them. (1)

"Hinata," Hiashi spoke, coldly.

"Hiashi," Hinata spoke in the same tone.

"You will address me a-" Hiashi started.

"Pardon my interruption," Hinata said, "But it is not _your_ decision on how I _address_ you. You have done _nothing_ to deserve any respect in my eyes, and therefore will not be addressed as sama by me. You want someone to suck up to you, go find Hanabi." Hinata turned from Hiashi and started to play with Konohamaru.

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Four Years Later

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"Alright class, I have your genin team assignments here," Iruka said, "Team one…" Naruto and Shikamaru were both taking naps. Hinata and Choji would fill them in on team assignments later.

"Team Seven. Shino Aburame, Ino Yamanaka, and Sasuke Uchiha." Sasuke's eye twitched, Ino cheered (and stuck her tongue out at Sakura), and if you looked real close, you could see Shino twitching too.

"Team Eight. Sakura Haruno, Kiba Inuzuka, and Choji Akimichi." Sakura sighed, Kiba looked like he wanted to bang his head on the table, and Choji just continued eating his chips.

"Team Ten. Shikamaru Nara, Hinata Uzumaki, and Naruto Uzumaki." Hinata smiled slightly while Shikamaru and Naruto both snored at the same time.

"You're jounin sensei will be here after lunch."

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(1) Konohamaru is currently four as Hinata and Naruto are eight.

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I don't care what parings you use...I also don't care if they're slash or het, but I would prefer if Hinata and Naruto only had a sibling relationship. It would be interesting to see them dating, but I think this story sets them up for a sibling bond.

A note about Hito...I originally planned him to be Haku's uncle (on the father's side) who was kicked out of the family and Kiri for supporting those with Kekkai Genkai. You can make him whoever you want but I think it would be cool to see him as that.

If someone does decided to do this (and I don't care how many do), I thank you with all my heart; hopefully reading this under someone else's name will help me get the plot bunnies to go away! Smiles.

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Feel free to adopt this story. If you do, please remember to PM me so I may add your penname below.

Adopted by:

Momma Lici (userid = 1230182)

arashi wolf princess (userid = 1716772)


	2. Hiei Kitty

THIS STORY IS SLASH! DO NOT TAKE IT IF YOU DO NOT LIKE SLASH!

It is a YYH/HP Crossover, with an eventual Hiei/Harry paring.

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Title: Hiei Kitty

Summary: Hiei is turned into a cat and ends up in the care of our favorite green-eyed boy wonder. The other SD are sent to Hogwarts to find Hiei. How much chaos can Yusuke, Kurama, Kuwabara, and a kittyfied Hiei cause? YYHxHP xover. Eventual HieiHarry

Intended Rating: T...slight possibility of M

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Prologue

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Hiei stood up and shook his head to clear it. What happened to him? He started licking his front paw as it was dirty…wait a minute…lick? Front paw? He jumped back and then looked at himself. He was a cat! A cat! One of the damnable creatures that the oaf loved! What the hell happened to him? Okay…calm down…what was the last thing he remembered? The mission. Some psycho human trying to make a deal with the demons. He, the fox, the detective, and the oaf had been sent by Koenma to stop said deal. The psycho human shot two lights at him. He didn't think the lights were dangerous so he didn't dodge. And now he was a cat! A cat! And he didn't know where he was either! Looking around he saw the room he was in was filled with broken toys and dusty books. An owl was in a cage in the corner of the room. The owl was watching him curiously. There was a pile of rags on a bed. The pile moved making Hiei-kitty jump. It wasn't a pile of rags; it was a boy with black messy hair, bright green eyes, and a strange shaped scar on his forehead. The boy picked up a pair of glasses from the nightstand and placed them on his face. The boy looked down at Hiei-kitty and blinked.

"What are you doing here, little one?" he asked. Hiei-kitty gave the boy his best glare. Little one, indeed! He was taller than the boy! Well…he was usually.

"BOY! Get down here and make my Dudders his breakfast!" a loud voice came from downstairs. The boy winced before getting up.

"Coming, Uncle Vernon!" he yelled, before picking up Hiei-kitty and placing him under the bed, "You better hide under here until Uncle Vernon leaves for work and Dudley goes to hang out with his friends." The boy left the room leaving a flabbergasted Hiei-kitty behind.

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Chapter 1

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Hiei waited for an hour until the boy limped back into the room, and collapsed on the bed with a pained groan. He came out from under the bed and then hopped onto it. He nuzzled the boy who he could now see had a bruise on his face and a bleeding lip.

"Mrow?" Harry lifted his head up at the sound of the cat he had found in his room earlier.

"Hello, little one," Harry said, smiling, and turning over with a groan, pulling the cat onto his chest, "I suppose I should think of a name for you. Can't keep calling you little one. I've never seen a cat with red eyes before. Well, I suppose the only cat's I've seen are Crookshanks and Mrs. Norris."

"Mrow?"

"How about Shadow?"

'Well,' Hiei thought, 'It's better then anything the oaf would have come up with.'

"Mrow."

"Shadow it is then." Harry winced, "C'mon, Harry, just two more days. Two more days and you're going back to Hogwarts. Just two more days."

'So his name is Harry. But what the hell is Hogwarts?'

"Mrow."

"Don't worry Shadow. I'll be fine. Just a couple bruises."

'And a broken ankle, the way you were limping.' Hiei thought, looking at the human that he couldn't understand.

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"Now, in two days you will be going back to Hogwarts for your final year," Dumbledore said to the two students in front of him, "Do you remember what I want you to do?"

"The same thing you've had us do the last few years, right?" Hermione asked, "Tell you everything Harry does and make sure he doesn't stray from being your _golden boy_."

"Not that he will," Ron said, "He's too stupid to even figure out we're spying on him."

"Be that as it may," Dumbledore said, "I would still ask that you be careful. I don't want him have any hint as to what is going on."

"And when does my family get the rest of his fortunes?" Ron asked.

"As soon as we get him married to your sister and she becomes pregnant, we kill him off, and your family gets his fortune," Dumbledore explained, "But first, he must destroy Voldemort."

"Let's hope that's soon," Hermione said, "I don't want my parents getting hurt in this stupid war."

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"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE HIEI IS?" Koenma yelled.

"I mean, the two lights, from the stick the lady used, hit him, and he disappeared," Yusuke said.

"From what I know of wizards, the first spell was only a transfiguration spell," Kurama said, "And the second was a transportation spell."

"So he was turned into something and then got sent somewhere?" Kuwabara asked.

"How do we figure out where he was sent? And what he was turned into?" Yusuke asked.

"I'll send you to the Wizarding World. To their school, Hogwarts. I must warn you about the headmaster though," Koenma started.

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Hiei was pacing back and forth. Harry had already fallen asleep from exhaustion. Hiei had yet to understand why he was acting so differently around this human. He never 'nuzzled' anyone. Ever. This transformation into a cat must have affected his actions. That must be it. There was no way that he was acting different for this human. And there was no way that he thought the stupid human in oversized rags was 'cute'. No way in the Makai.

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Feel free to adopt this story. If you do, please remember to PM me so I may add your penname below.

Adopted by:

Steven Kodaly (userid = 1141480)


	3. The Greatest Toad Demony Thing

Title: The Greatest

Summary: Before Jaken followed Fluffy he was the Greatest of all the toad demony things. But how did he become the greatest? By being a devious and sneaky little crapper, that's how.

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It was that time again. Time to vote for a new Greatest Toad Demony Thing. But first things first: time for nominations. As usual, Jaken paid off one of the younger toad demony things to nominate him. This year there were a whopping **seven** nominations. (That's a _whole_ lot for the toad demony things.)

Four nominees needed to be cut. Time for second nominations. Very quickly and un-sly like, Jaken stomped on the closest toad demony thing's foot.

"Jaken!" the toad demony thing yelled, holding his foot. Jaken snickered as the toad demony thing taking the second nominations put his name down. Jaken looked at his two opponents.

George W. Toad and Bill Toadton. How would he beat the opposition? He tried every year, you see, and failed every year as well. Things, however, were looking good for Jaken this year. George W. Toad only wanted to fight with the rival toad demony thing clan, and Bill Toadton had a bad habit of kissing all the girl toad demony things even though he was mated.

Jaken, however, did not know this. He may have been a devious little toad demony thing who wished to rule over all the other toad demony things, but he was very stupid.

Jaken, however, did not know this. For he was too stupid to even begin to consider the fact that he was stupid. But that's beside the point.

Now…to beat the opposition. He needed pictures. And not just any pictures. He needed _blackmail_ pictures. How to get them…hmm. Jaken spotted the younger toad demony thing that he paid to nominate him.

"Hey, kid!" he said to the younger toad demony thing, "You wanna earn some more money?"

"You bet I do mister," the younger toad demony thing said, in a voice that reminded you of Prince the twelfth from Garfield: Tale of Two Kitties when he asked for more lasagna. Not that any of the toad demony things knew what a Garfield was, or a kitty, or lasagna, or who in the hell Prince the twelfth was. But again, that's beside the point.

"Then here's how you do it," Jaken said, whispering his devious little plan in the younger toad demony thing's ear. Jaken, being the stupid toad demony thing that he was, gave the younger toad demony thing his payment _before_ Jaken got the pictures. Jaken never did get those blackmail photos. He had to move on to other ideas.

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Feel free to adopt this story. If you do, please remember to PM me so I may add your penname below.

Adopted by: No one yet.


	4. Two Naruto Xovers

Two Naruto Xover Plot Bunnies that I can neither get out of my head or write down.

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Naruto xover 1: Naruto/Stargate SG1/Possible Stargate Atlantis…AU

Sometime around age 16/17/18, after being captured by Akatsuki and escaping, Naruto is captured by Orochimaru. Oro does various experiments on him, then sends him through his new 'toy' which just happens to be a Stargate. Naruto is sent too Goa'uld/Wraith/whatever enemy you so choose infested planet, where Hammond's granddaughters (not sure about their age) have also been captured. Have fun explaining that one.

The Kyuubi gives him the knowledge of how to speak the same language the two of them do, and ends up protecting them from some torture. SG1 plus Hammond rescue them. Girls puppy-dog-eye him into doing his best to convince the President to let Naruto stay.

Tsunade and Iruka bulldoze Oto, find Stargate, and take it back to Konoha. Your decision on what happens to Oro and Sasuke, though Sasu should at least be dragged back to Konoha, if he's not there already. Eventually figure out address Oro sent Naruto to. Ino takes information from someone's head on previously stated Goa'uld/Wraith/whatever enemy you so choose infested planet on what happened to Naruto.

Naruto is allowed to stay and chooses to protect the Hammond's granddaughters. Said before I wasn't sure about their ages, but I'm pretty sure their names are Kayla and Tessa. Don't take my word on that though. I don't know enough about Stargate to make up believable reasons for the above, therefore I pass it on to whoever thinks they do. Please at least give me credit for the idea, otherwise, it's all yours.

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Naruto xover 2: Naruto/X-men (movie or comic)…mostly follows Naruto canon

Naruto is kidnapped when he was little and his bones were bonded with adamantium. I'm sure you can see where this one is going. Logan finds out later that there is a blue-eyed, blonde with adamantium claws like him running around somewhere in Konoha. Tsunade is Hokage by that time, and figures out it's Naruto when confronted about it.

After being returned to Konoha by a group of ANBU, Naruto was trained to be one, eventually becoming one of the scariest ANBU. His identity as an ANBU was only known by Sarutobi and the ANBU squad (including Itachi) that rescued him. He was supposed to keep track of Sasuke, so he went through the academy, Genin test, Chuunin exam, etc.

I don't care if there's character bashing or not, as I read whichever one I'm in the mood for. Please at least give me credit for the idea if you use it.

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Feel free to adopt this story. If you do, please remember to PM me so I may add your penname below.

Adopted by: No one yet.


	5. Chimera

Title: Chimera

Summary: Lily and James had no idea that their youngest son Harry was the BWL not Leon like they thought. They were also unaware of their unique ancestry that would unlock in Harry during his Inheritance or just how much he hated them and Leon. NaruHPxover.

Intended Rating: T/M

Pairings: eventual Harry(dom)/Kakashi(sub), eventual Zabuza(dom)/Harry(sub/dom)/Kakashi(sub)

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Background Info

For this story, the Naruto timeline is going to be changed a bit. Instead of Kakashi being 14 when the Kyuubi attacks, he'll be eighteen that way Harry will already be in Konoha. Obviously, this means that Yondaime is not yet dead, as Kakashi is only (getting ready to turn) sixteen when this story starts. Harry and his twin brother, Leon, are seventeen, or rather are turning seventeen and are about to start their seventh year when this story starts.

Leon's best friends are Ron and Hermione, and Leon acts as most of Harry's twin/older siblings do in sibling-who-lived stories (for those of you that are new to this type of story it means that he's a snotty, stuck up, little brat). The three of them are in Gryffindor. Harry is in Slytherin and instead of being friends with/taking over the house from Draco as he does in most other SWL stories, here he keeps to himself. Draco still leads most of the Slytherins around. Harry has only a few Slytherins on his side (mostly a couple of the younger years), but he protects them from any form of teasing/bulling they get from other students.

James and Lily are alive. James teaches years one through three transfiguration, and Lily teaches years one through three charms. Both of them have neglected Harry in favor of Leon, and on occasion even punished him for something Leon did, the punishment getting worse when he tried to tell them Leon was the one who did it. It got worse when he got into Slytherin, and James moved onto actual abuse. This happened several times; therefore, Harry is jaded and hates his parents (James for the abuse, Lily for not stopping James even though she knew what he was doing) his brother (for laughing at his pain), Sirius (for occasionally helping James), and his godfather, Remus (for not stopping either James or Sirius, even though he has the power/strength to). The only adults that actually care for Harry are Hagrid, Madame Pomfrey, Professor Snape, and Professor Trelawney.

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Prologue

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Inheritance. The moment that every young witch and wizard waits for their whole life. Dormant abilities that have been passed down for centuries could possibly be awakened, making them more powerful.

A cheer from downstairs reminded Harry that his parents and their friends were celebrating Leon's coming Inheritance. There was no doubt in their mind that Leon would be unlocking most, if not all, of the dormant abilities hidden within James and Lily's family lines. After all, everyone knows that _Leon_ is the Boy-Who-Lived.

'_Wrong!_' Harry thought, '_Leon couldn't take on a mouse, much less Voldemort. Stupid idiots. He barely has any power to begin with. He'll get one, maybe two, dormant powers unlocked, if that._' A little known piece of information about the Inheritance – it was based on the amount of power the person going through it.

Unknown to the rest of the world, Harry had actually tested both his and Leon's magic. Leon had less magical power than Neville Longbottom. He wouldn't be getting as many gifts from the Inheritance as their parents thought. Harry, on the other hand, had more magic then he knew what to do with. Knowing that if he had shown off his _ever loving_ father would beat him again, he became an average student, only going above average in Potions, Divination, and Care of Magical Creatures. He also took a few Healing classes with Madame Pomfrey, acing those as well.

Harry groaned as his whole body was filled with pain. He was in to much pain to think, but somewhere he realized that it wasn't supposed to be this painful, even if he did have a shitload of magic. Harry found himself in a room filled with pictures of his happier memories. This was the Comfort Room of his mindscape, where he went when he couldn't take reality anymore.

'_What am I doing here?_' Harry thought. A large animal, with gold eyes, and large fangs, materialized in front of him. Harry knew what it was instantly, but somehow he also knew what powers he'd be getting from it.

"_Werewolf,_" Harry spoke to the room, "_Extra strength. Better senses. Silver will burn me, but only if I hold onto it for longer than five hours._" The werewolf disappeared and a near carbon copy of Harry appeared. The only differences were the fangs and the blood red eyes.

"_Vampire. I see in thermal instead of my regular vision if I so desire. My normal eyesight is also fixed, so I no longer need glasses. I'll need to drink blood once a month from my mate(s)._"

This went on and on, each time Harry saying out loud what he'd be getting form the particular creature, and then it disappearing, and another one replacing it. Then something strange happened. Instead of just one creature appearing, there were two. One was a copy of Harry with red hair and red eyes. The other was a large wolf, with three tails.

"_Blood demon. I have two mates – a submissive and a dominant. I have even better senses and minor abilities over water during the full moon. Wolf demon. I can see the blood pumping through ones veins if I so choose. No wait, that's backwards. What the hell?_"

The blood demon and wolf demon disappeared, and were replaced with more and more creatures; each disappearing faster than Harry could concentrate on them.

Outside his mindscape, the house elf cowered in fear as Harry went from grunting in pain and sweating to a blood curdling scream ripping from his lips.

"What the hell is going on in here?" James yelled as he kicked the door in, "Stop yelling, you stupid snake!" Lily, not able to watch her youngest son be beaten by her husband, ran back downstairs to firecall Madame Pomfrey. The Inheritance should not be causing Harry that much pain.

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Albus Dumbledore regarded the three men across from him. He was currently in Konoha, pleading for them to help protect Hogwarts until Voldemort was fully destroyed. Sitting in the Hokage's seat was a blonde man, the Yondaime Hokage. Standing directly behind him were two older men- the Sandaime Hokage, and the Yondaime's own teacher, Jiraiya.

"You must understand," the Yondaime began, "that we are currently recovering from our own war, and the aftermath of one of our now-exiled shinobi's experiments. I cannot send you much. What I can do, is send Jiraiya and one ANBU squad. Jiraiya can be introduced to your school as a teacher for hand-to-hand combat. The four ANBU can either be his helpers of be introduced into the student body. That will be for you to decide."

"Thank you very much for your help, Hokage-sama," Dumbledore said, hoping that the little help he had gotten would be enough.

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Chapter One

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Dumbledore had a strange feeling when he saw Sybill Trelawney waiting for him in the entrance hall. She glanced curiously at the people following him for a moment then turned her gaze to him.

"You are screwed," she spoke, in an eerie voice. Dumbledore blinked.

"I beg your pardon?"

"That bastard James Potter has done it again Albus," Sybill told him, "And Poppy is holding you personally responsible, hence you are screwed. I heard her saying something about a hot poker and Chinese Water Torture." Dumbledore gulped. The five shinobi watched on in slight amusement as Dumbledore nearly pissed his pants.

"Surely, she's not _that_ angry," Dumbledore told himself. Sybill snorted.

"You wish."

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"Albus Dumbledore!" Poppy shrieked the moment he walked into the hospital wing, "I am going to kill you!" Dumbledore gulped, as the five shinobi wondered whether they should be protecting Dumbledore from the woman's wrath, even though they were only hired to protect the school from Voldemort and his minions. Luckily for Dumbledore, Harry chose that moment to wake up.

"Ow," he groaned, "Inheritance isn't supposed to hurt that bad is it?" After pausing for a moment, Poppy huffed, turned away from Dumbledore, and rushed over to take care of Harry.

"Well, your _father_ decided to beat you during it, so that might account for the pain," she told him.

"No," Harry said, "Well, a little. But I can feel where he beat me, and that's not it. The Inheritance hurt worse than I was warned about. Too many dormant powers for me to be able to cope with."

"What do you mean Harry?" Severus asked.

"It started off slowly, one power, then another, and another. Then two at once, and I mixed them up. Then they started coming all at once. It hurts like hell. My Comfort Room is completely gone. I'll have to rebuild it, starting from scratch."

"Damn, if it took out the Comfort Room," Severus turned to Poppy, "Check for any forms of brain damage. His Comfort Room has mental defenses equivalent to Hogwarts and Gringotts combined."

"I thought you said Mr. Potter had no talent for Occlumency," Dumbledore said to Severus, as Poppy went to retrieve a potion.

"I said _Leon_ Potter had no talent in Occlumency. _Harry_ Potter is a master of it," Severus replied, "And he's pretty damn good at Legilimency too."

"Here Harry, drink this," Poppy said, returning with a light blue potion, "You should feel a warmth in the back of your head soon. When you do, place a drop of your blood on this parchment." It only took a few minutes for the warmth to appear, and Harry to prick his finger.

"Well, Poppy?" Severus asked.

"No brain damage, thank the gods, but his Occlumency walls have been completely devastated. He'll have to rebuild everything from scratch," Poppy turned her eyes to Harry, "You work on that Comfort Room first, you hear me?"

"Yes, Poppy," Harry replied.

"Harry," Hagrid greeted, entering the room, "You doin' alright there? I heard wot that bastard father of yers did."

"I'll be fine in a few days Hagrid. It's not like James hasn't done this before. Besides, my Inheritance caused me more pain then he did."

"I still don' see why you don' let me kill 'em Professor," turning to Dumbledore, "Bastard keeps hurtin' Harry. An' then Black helps 'em do it. An' Remus and Lily, cowards the both of 'em. An' Leon, why he ain't no better than a Malfoy wit tat smug lil' attitude o' his."

"Hagrid, don't bother," Severus said, "Dumbledore, like the rest of the Wizarding World, is an idiot that will never see past the 'Boy-Who-Lived', which by the way," he turned to Dumbledore, "How many powers did our precious 'Boy-Who-Lived' get?"

Dumbledore mumbled something that only Harry and one of the shinobi were able to hear.  
"Three!" Harry exclaimed, "Damn! Little shit got more than I thought. I didn't think he'd get anymore than two. What'd he get?"

Dumbledore mumbled again, and Harry started laughing.

"Do I even want to know?" Severus asked.

"He grew fangs, has a talking freckle that won't shut up, and can now speak to rabbits," Harry said.

"I don't see why the last one is so funny," Dumbledore said, pouting.

"Leon scared shitless of rabbits," Harry told him. The others joined him in laughter.

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Obviously the first chapter should be continued as it's pretty short. The intended mates for Harry are Kakashi (submissive - but he's Kakashi, so not that submissive) and Zabuza (dominant - Kakashi's the sub becasue I can't see Zabuza as anything but the dom). I originally intended for the ANBU squad sent to include Kakashi and Anko. If you do decide to do this, please tell me, and give me credit for the part I wrote.

Rune

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Feel free to adopt this story. If you do, please remember to PM me so I may add your penname below.

Adopted by:

Zakura16 (userid = 3201248)


	6. Snake Summon

Title: Snake Summon

Summary: What if Harry Potter's animagus form was an oversized basilisk? What if Manda wasn't the Snake Summon Boss? What if Harry was? HarryPotterNarutoXover

Intendend Rating: T

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Prologue

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Harry Potter, or rather Sousui, yawned. Well, he yawned as well as a snake could yawn. After the final battle with Voldemort, he had absorbed all of Voldemort's knowledge, magic, and memories. Along with that came an animagus form – a basilisk, but not an ordinary basilisk, no. Nothing to do with Harry Potter is ever ordinary or normal.

…Which might just explain why Harry's basilisk form was at least five times as big as it should be – and why he was stuck in it…

…It could also explain why he poofed into smoke when one of the 'Light Wizards' cast a killing curse at him.

That had been scary. Reappearing into a world filled with snakes had been scary too. There was a purple one named Manda that had even tried to eat him (of course, he was having trouble separating his human instincts from his snake instincts, so Manda was the one that got eaten). Then all the other snakes started calling him Sousui-sama, which apparently meant commander or leader (he wasn't sure which one).

That ended up being his name, as you can probably tell. Sousui felt a tingling in the back of his head, and smiled as well as a snake could.

'So, someone finally signed the snake contract,' he thought, 'This oughta be fun.'

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Feel free to adopt this story. If you do, please remember to PM me so I may add your penname below.

Adopted by: No one yet.


	7. The Annoyance From Hell

Title: The Annoyance From Hell

Summary: Naruto gains two bloodlines before his Genin exam. One that lets him know the ultimate pet peeve of any person he looks at and another that makes him the biggest annoyance in the Hidden Countries. As Sarutobi said: poor, poor Kakashi.

Intended Rating: T

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Prologue

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Namikaze Minato looked over at his newborn son in awe and sadness. Kushina had died after complications with childbirth, only living long enough to name him Naruto. And now, he too would be leaving their son, sealing the Kyuubi into him.

He sighed and turned back to the letter he was writing to Sarutobi. It was short but it explained the Kekkei Genkai both he and Kushina might pass onto their son. He smiled sadly and signed it, before sealing it and leaving it on the desk for the old man to find.

As he left for the battlefield, Naruto cradled in his arms, Minato never noticed a breeze come through the open window and blow the letter off the desk. The letter floated down to the floor gently, slipping underneath the desk.

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Twelve Years Later

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'Hmm, let's see,' Sarutobi thought. It was two days before the Genin exam, and it was up to him to choose the teams, even though they were unsure of who would be graduating. It was the Chuunin sensei's job to complete the teams if one or more of their members didn't graduate.

'Hmm. Well, Inochi, Shikaku, and Chouza have been bugging me to create another Ino-Shika-Cho trio. And the sensei…Asuma should do quite nicely. We've needed a tracker team for a while, so Kiba, Hinata, and Shino…hmm, a sensei though…ah! Kurenai was recently promoted to Jounin! Perfect. Now…Sasuke…the rookie is always paired with the dead last…(sigh)…Naruto…Sakura's the top in grades under Sasuke, so she'll be placed there too. Perhaps she'll be able to keep the peace. But for the sensei…someone who can help Sasuke with the Sharingan, get Sakura over the fangirl stage, and not see Naruto as the Kyuubi. Ah, yes, Hatake Kakashi.' Satisfied with having thought of three of the teams, he moved to write them down and knocked a stack of paperwork off his desk.

"Oh, damn," Sarutobi cursed, leaning down to pick up the papers. He knelt down to check under the desk. He didn't find any paperwork, but, "Hmm? And what's this?" Sarutobi asked out loud, as he examined the letter in his hand. It was addressed:

'To Old Man Hokage'

Sarutobi's eye twitched at the nickname, but, recognizing the handwriting as Minato's, opened it.

_Hey Old Man, _

_Sorry to stick you back with all the paperwork, but you can consider it payback for not warning me about it. As I'm writing this, the Kyuubi has just passed the northern gate. As you know doubt already know, I plan to seal the damned demon into my son, Naruto._

"Naruto?" Sarutobi asked, surprised.

_Yep, that's right. Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto, although I'll be giving you only the Uzumaki part on the battlefield. Can't have too many people knowing the truth…I have far too many enemies._

_The reason I'm writing this is because of the Kekkei Genkai that Kushina and I had. Naruto will with any amount of bad luck inherit both._

_The only ones who knew I had a Kekkei Genkai were Jiraiya, Kakashi, Rin, Obito, and Kushina. No doubt Jiraiya and Kakashi could tell you how bad mine was. Daimeiwaku. And as the name suggests, the Kekkei Genkai makes the one who has it extremely annoying. I thank Kami every day, that no one ever killed me for it._

_Kushina's Kekkei Genkai on the other hand, Kizushiryoku, allowed her to automatically know the pet peeve of anyone she met. As you can tell, with these Kekkei Genkai combined, not only will Naruto be annoying as hell, he will be able to use his annoyance to its fullest ability._

_Both bloodlines start showing sometime after the age of seven. Please protect Naruto. I know he'll be annoying as hell, but it's not his fault. It's mine for reproducing._

_Do enjoy hell._

_With love,_

_Namikaze Minato_

After reading the letter, Sarutobi came to a single conclusion:

"Poor, poor Kakashi."

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Several blocks away, in his apartment, Naruto was sleeping soundly, dreaming of all the cool missions he would take when he became a Genin.

He never saw the red glow that surrounded him, or heard the malevolent, mischievous chuckle that came from the demon sealed inside him as the fox unlocked both his Kekkei Genkai, insuring (at least in Kyuubi's mind) Konoha's destruction.

The fox had no idea how much it would regret that decision in the years to come.

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Secret Of Daimeiwaku: (You don't necessarily have to use this if you don't want to) The Kekkai Genkai doesn't affect anyone that has promised to protect Naruto **without** knowing about the Kekkai Genkai.

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Feel free to adopt this story. If you do, please remember to PM me so I may add your penname below.

Adopted by: No one yet.


	8. Untitled BuffyAngelHPNaruto Xover

Untitled

Summary: NarutoAtsBtvsHpXover. Possible Slash. Harry, Naruto, Gaara, and Yugito are kicked out of their homes at a young age and found by Dawn, Spike, Angel, and Willow. A year later, after the Uchiha Massacre, Lorne runs across Sasuke. Better summary inside.

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Summary: NarutoAtsBtvsHpXover. Possible Slash. Harry (age five), Naruto (age six), Gaara (age six), and Yugito (age nine) are chased out of Surry (Let's just pretend it's a village in Earth Country, kay?),Konoha, Suna, and Kumo respectively. Harry is found by Dawn, who can't help but start to take care of him, then take him home. Naruto runs into Spike (literally) who then decides to take him home. At the same time, Angel comes across Gaara in the desert and decides to take him home. Yet again, at the same time, Willow meets Yugito and takes her home. The three grow up in Tenshigakure (s a hidden village in Wave Country ) under the supervision of Angel, Willow, Spike, Dawn, and Lorne (the only ones to survive the Bijuu Apocalypse which will be explained later). After hearing about the Uchiha Massacre a year later, Lorne offers to investigate and runs across a spooked Sasuke (age seven). Sasuke then grows up with the three Jinchuuriki and one mini-wizard and all five of them are trained for combat. That's a very good thing, considering that Akatsuki is after three of them.

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Angel: Angel-tou-san - Gaara

Willow: Willow-kaa-san - Yugito

Spike: Spike-nii-san - Naruto

Dawn: Dawn-nee-chan - Harry

Lorne: Lorne-oji-san - Sasuke

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Genin Teams

SPIKE: Yugito, Naruto, Sasuke

WILLOW: Hermione, Harry, Gaara

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Hane - wing

Hanekage - wing shadow

Tenshigakure - Village Hidden by the Angel.

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Prologue

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-In Surry-

Vernon looked down in disgust at the five-year-old child in front of him. It was the child of his wife's freakish sister and her freakish husband. The brat had been left on his doorstep after the two of his freakish parents had died.

"You were supposed to finish the chores on the list, boy!" Vernon yelled. The child stared at his uncle with teary green eyes.

"My little Dudley's dinner was late because of you!" Petunia added, before turning to Vernon, "I don't care what you do with him, but get him out of my sight!"

"With pleasure, Pet," Vernon said, grabbing the boy by the back of his shirt and dragging him outside.

-In Konoha-

Six-year-old, Naruto walked down the street ignoring the whispers. They were always the same; calling him a demon or a monster. Had he been listening tonight, Naruto would have realized that the whispers weren't the same as they had always been.

Tonight…the villagers planned to rid themselves of 'The Demon' for good.

Naruto felt a blinding pain in the back of his head as he fell to the ground. The last thing he saw before he blacked out was the smug look of a villager holding a brick.

-In A Park In Surry-

Dawn shivered from the cold. It was getting close to winter and snow would be coming soon. Dawn stopped abruptly. She could have sworn she heard…there it was again! It sounded like a child whimpering, but no parent in their right mind would leave a child in the park this late. Following the sounds she came upon a small form huddled under a bench.

"Hello?" Dawn said, "Come on out…I won't hurt you." The small form sniffled, whimpered, again, and then slowly crawled out. Dawn gasped when she saw the pitiful looking form of a small, and obviously abused, boy.

A bruise was already forming on the side of his face, hiding one of his emerald green eyes behind his eyelid. He was holding his right wrist that was bent at an angle Dawn knew it wasn't supposed to, and he was favoring his left leg.

"Hello," Dawn said again, "My name's Dawn…what's yours?"

"Don' know," the boy said, not meeting Dawn's eyes, 'Wa's a name?"

"A name is what people call you."

"Oh…they call me boy and freak." Dawn inwardly seethed, not showing any of her anger on her face.

"Well those aren't proper names," Dawn said, "I have a friend who can find out your real name…would you like that?" the boy sniffled, then nodded, "Alright, then let's go," Dawn picked him up careful of any other injuries that she hadn't seen, "and we'll see about getting those boo-boo's fixed too."

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Bijuu apocalypse

The nine bijuu attacked the earth, before they were formed into the jubi and met the sage of six paths. It's why Earth became the Hidden Countries.

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Feel free to adopt this story. If you do, please remember to PM me so I may add your penname below.

Adopted by: No one yet.


	9. Untitled HPInuYasha Xover

Untitled

Summary: Harry is sent to Azkaban by a manipulative Dumbledore and an over-joyous Fudge. Naturally, he is innocent. One day, someone comes to break him out. But you wouldn't believe who or why. HPIYxover. Slash.

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Prologue

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Sixteen-year-old Harry Potter lifted his head from his knees as he heard footsteps heading to his cell. He had been sent to Azkaban for supposedly having killed four students: Laura Madley (a Hufflepuff), Orla Quirke (a Ravenclaw), Natalie McDonald (a Gryffindor), and Malcolm Baddock (a Slytherin). He didn't, of course, but his wand had been used by the killer, and other 'evidence' pointed to him as well.

Harry knew the only reason he had been sent to Azkaban was because he had been growing to independent from Dumbledore; he refused to play as 'Gryffindor's Golden Boy'. Dumbledore would soon let him out, expecting Harry to be grateful and moldable.

And had the Dementors gone after him like they had the first week, he probably would have been. For some reason, after the first week, the Dementors avoided him, and the weakest ones would bring his food, barely affecting him at all.

The footsteps stopped as a woman appeared out of the shadows of the hall.

"Good evening, Harry Potter," she spoke, moving more into the little light given off by his cell's small window, allowing Harry to get a better look at her. She had mid-back length, brown hair, and sea green eyes. There was a red rectangle on each cheek and a dark-colored crescent moon on her forehead.

"What's good about it?" Harry asked.

"The fact that you are leaving this place," she smiled, "And Dumbledore, the Ministry, and Voldemort will be very angry that they are not the ones to get you."

"Who are you?"

"My name is Rin. I am the daughter of the Lord of the Western Lands in the Japanese Demon World. I want you to work for me. You were recommended highly by Orla and Natalie before their deaths."

Rin smiled as Harry's look changed from interested to confused. Confusing people was always fun.

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Feel free to adopt this story. If you do, please remember to PM me so I may add your penname below.

Adopted by: No one yet.


	10. The Black Brothers

The Black Brothers

Summary: Harry's twin, Lucas, is thought to be the BWL and Harry is neglected. After being forgotten on a trip to Diagon Alley, he goes home with a certain black haired, male, ex Death Eater who used to be Lily's best friend. And no, it's not Snape.

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Prologue

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The dark-haired man looked at a child across the street. Even from here he could see the messy mop of black hair that identified him as a Potter and the bright green eyes that identified him as the child of his ex-best friend Lily. He was one of her twins. Harry or Lucas Potter, and judging by the lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead, it was Harry.

After Voldemort's defeat on Halloween five years ago, Lucas was proclaimed the Boy-Who-Lived, coming out of it with nothing but a V shaped scar on his shoulder. Frowning, the man turned on his mage sight. There was a dark magic residue surrounding Harry's scar. Could it be that Dumbledore had chosen the wrong twin? Lost in his thoughts, the man didn't notice Harry cross the street until Harry was tugging on his robes.

"Can I help you?"

"Um…maybe…can you help me find a family?" The man picked him up.

"I'm sure your parents and brother are around here somewhere."

"No…they left me here…forgot me…that's okay. My parents ignore me and my brother hates me anyway. So…can you help me find a family? A family that will care for me?"

Harry's wide innocent green eyes met with pondering stormy grey eyes. Here in his arms was the true Boy-Who-Lived. He had fooled the Dark Lord into believing him loyal; he had fooled the Family Tapestry into believing him dead; could he and this little boy fool the world? They could, he decided after a few moments.

And seconds later, Regulus Black and Harry Potter disappeared from Diagon Alley with a resounding crack.

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Harry James Potter

Rigel Castor Black

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Chapter 1

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Regulus and Sirius Black wore mirror scowls on their faces. On the table in front of them was a Hogwarts Acceptance letter addressed to Harry Potter.

The fact that the letter was several years late was one of the reasons two of the Black brothers were scowling. Dumbledore had ignored Harry for several years, now only sending a Hogwarts acceptance letter because the Order found out Dumbledore made a mistake in choosing the Boy-Who-Lived.

Another was that it totally ignored the fact that Harry went by Rigel Black now. Hell, Harry himself was a Black now - his messy short hair replaced with long stylish hair, often pulled back, and his once emerald green eyes now had more stormy grey in them than green. All thanks to a blood ritual - one that wasn't exactly_ legal_ in Britain. Good thing they were in America when they did it.

Then there was the fact that Rigel had already graduated from Salem Academy of Magical Arts. And because of the fact that Salem had their own special brand of time turners (because of so many classes the students could take, and only eleven years to take them; though Rigel, showing himself to be a genius, completed all the classes in eight years), while Rigel's body was that of a sixteen-soon-to-be-seventeen boy, his mind's age was nearly twice that.

That in itself caused Sirius and Regulus to treat Rigel as a brother more than a son or nephew. And because they treated him as a brother in public, people soon started calling all three of them the Black brothers. That was fine with Regulus…he had always wanted a younger brother, claiming that older brothers were stupid. Rigel agreed…it was five minutes before Regulus figured out that was an insult, resulting in a loud "HEY!" from him and a laugh from Sirius.

Rigel Black walked into the kitchen to see his two older brothers scowling at a letter on the table. Rigel looked at the letter closer, then realizing it was a Hogwarts Acceptance letter, an identical scowl to Regulus and Sirius' appeared on his face.

"Oh, hell no," Rigel said.

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A Day Later

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"Quiet down, quiet down," Dumbledore said, trying to get the members of the Order to be quiet…it wasn't working.

"SHUT UP!" Remus yelled, causing the noise to stop immediately. It was close to the full moon and no one was willing to piss him off. Dumbledore looked around at the members of the Order that had come to this minor meeting in Potter Manor.

Minerva McGonagall, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, James and Lily Potter, Lucas Potter and his two friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, as well as Molly and Arthur Weasley, and Alastor Moody.

Sirius Black would have been here, but Dumbledore had told the Potters it would have been better to let the public believe that Sirius was secret keeper instead of Peter, and they listened. Sirius had spent five and a half years in Azkaban without a trial until his supposed-to-be-dead-brother sued the ministry, got him a fair trial, and then took him to America, where the two of them have been ever since. Rumor had it there was a third Black brother there too.

"What exactly are we here for, Headmaster?" Hermione asked, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"A few minutes before I called this meeting, I received a letter which I believe several of you would be interested in," Dumbledore told the people gathered.

"And we would be interested in this letter because?" James asked him. Dumbledore smiled sadly.

"It is in reply to the Hogwarts Acceptance letter that I sent to Harry Potter," several people in the room perked up at this, though Snape only rolled his eyes, and Lucas sulked, "I thought I would read it aloud to you all…

_Albus Dumbledore,_

_In replying to the Hogwarts Acceptance letter you have sent to me, I was first planning to tell you to go fall off a cliff (although my brothers wished for me to use far worse words than those when doing so). I have, since then, reconsidered SLIGHTLY._

_As it stands, I have no need of an education from Hogwarts; I graduated from Salem with honors and masteries in Warding, Defensive Magic, Offensive Magic, and Healing. It seems, however, that you are in need of a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. If you truly wish for me to be at Hogwarts than consider this my application for the position (if it is considered so, then several papers showing my credentials shall appear behind this piece of parchment, stapled to it)._

_I do, however, have a few conditions. One, both my brothers will be coming with me. Neither of them trust you, and until I see that it should be otherwise, neither shall I. Two, I will be known by my ACTUAL name. That name is NOT Harry J. Potter, as you are so quick to assume, but Rigel C. Black. Given that you know my true name, you no doubt can figure out who my brothers are._

_If you can not, than forget everything I have said previous; I refuse to be around imbeciles and will be staying in America. Three, I am not your pawn, nor will I fight your war because of some stupid prophecy that a crazy old bat made years ago. I will prepare your students for the war, but the only reason I shall participate in it, is if Voldemort gives me reason to. He has not, as of yet._

_Four, unless they are teachers at the school, I refuse to talk to James Potter, Lily Potter, and Remus Lupin. If they are members of the staff, I will be civil about matters that concern the school, and pointedly ignore them at all other times. Likewise, I will not talk to Lucas Potter, or any of his little followers, unless about matters that concern their schooling._

_Five, if any of your teachers, students, or any other idiot from the British Wizarding World piss me off for one reason or another, I will not hesitate to show them that they are no better than a flobberworm compared to me. I am powerful, I am the child of your so-called prophecy, and I kick ass; I am not modest about that._

_Six, I have other duties, given to me during my time at Salem, that I deem more important than teaching a class of morons how to use their wands without blowing off their ass cheeks. If one of those duties comes into play, I will leave either Sirius or Regulus in charge of my classes while I do it._

_If you have yet to figure out how Sirius or Regulus will be there, go back up to paragraph four and read the first sentence. If all my conditions will be met, I will be at King's Cross station on September 1st to ride the train._

_Sincerely,_

_Rigel Castor Black_

As you can see, young Mr. Black does not seem very happy with us." Snape snorted.

"That is an understatement, Albus, and a severe one at that."

"So are we going to meet his conditions?" Minerva asked.

"I don't see why we should," Lucas sniffed, "I doubt he has the power to back up his claims." Snape rolled his eyes again, and Minerva pursed her lips into a thin line.

"We will," Dumbledore said, ignoring Lucas' remark completely, "He is well qualified for the post." Everyone but Dumbledore, Snape, McGonagall, and Moody burst into outraged talk. Snape rolled his eyes yet again, thinking that this year would prove to be a most interesting one.

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September 1st, 1997

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"I still can't believe we're doing this," Sirius grumbled as they walked onto the platform three hours before the train was due to leave.

"I still can't believe that Dumbledore agreed to everything," Regulus added, "Makes me kind of glad that I got that healer at Salem to remove the mark for me. What was her name again?"

"_His_ name was Kelly O'Johnson. And you should remember that seeing as he is the one who apprenticed me," Rigel sighed.

"I always thought Kelly was a she," Regulus said.

"So did most of the male student body," Rigel told him, chuckling as he remembered some of the funnier pick-up lines said male students had used.

"We should find a compartment before the students start to arrive," Sirius interrupted.

"You really didn't want to come here, did you Siri?" Rigel asked, softly.

"No I didn't, but I'm not going to let you come here without all the protection from that manipulative bastard you can get." Rigel smiled and hugged Sirius before the three of them boarded the train. They picked a compartment at the end of the train, and settled in. Their trunks were shrunken in their pockets, and the bags they carried on to the train, were filled with unimportant items, such as copies of books they already had, and some spare quills and pieces of parchments.

Rigel grabbed one of the books he was in the midst of reading (he was usually reading four or five at a time; the Salem headmistress had jokingly said something about Bookworm ADD) and curled up in between Sirius and Regulus to read. Regulus was already snoring lightly, having stayed up late last night brewing potions, but Sirius was wide awake, with his wand in hand, ready to curse anything that moved.

An hour and a half later, the students started coming through the barrier. Every one of them passed the three brothers curious glances but didn't bother them. Probably because of the book Rigel was reading - _One Hundred Thousand Ways to Curse Annoying Pests Without Getting Caught_ by S. T. Snape.

Eventually Rigel, hearing Sirius growl, looked up from his book. Rigel followed Sirius' gaze onto the platform, to see the Potter family looking around for someone, no doubt him. The compartment door opening drew their attention away from the Potters.

"Do you mind if we sit in here?" a red haired girl asked. Behind her was a blonde girl that looked as though she had been crying recently.

"I don't," Rigel told them, "Sirius?"

"Don't care," Sirius grumbled, turning his attention back to the Potters and glaring at them. The girl smiled and motioned for her friend to enter before her.

"I'm Ginny, and this is Luna Lovegood," the red head introduced them, before following Sirius' gaze, "Ah, the Potters. Finally, someone who can see them for who they actually are and not just the fact that Lucas is supposedly the Boy-Who-Lived."

"You don't believe that?" Rigel asked curiously.

"I can read auras," Luna spoke quietly, "He is not the one who stripped Voldemort of power." Luna was looking at him curiously as she said this.

"I went to Salem so I can hide my aura," Rigel explained, "Rigel Black. Sirius Black, the one glaring at the Potters, and Regulus Black, the one sleeping, are my older brothers. We'll be the professors for Defense this year."

"Looks like this will be an interesting year then," Ginny smiled, "I'm in my sixth year, a Slytherin. My parents disowned me when they found out and Luna's dad took me in."

"I'm also in my sixth year, but I'm in Ravenclaw," Luna told them, from behind a copy of the Quibbler.

"The Potter brat's in his seventh year; Mummy and Daddy's little Gryffindor Golden Boy. His friends, that's them now, are Hermione Granger, the bushy haired beaver look-a-like, and Ronald Weasley, my ex-brother. They're both Gryffindors too."

"I wonder what would happen if I were to introduce some of my friends to them," Rigel grinned. Sirius snorted.

"They'd shit themselves, then dear little Lucas would run to mummy and daddy, who'd run to Dumbledore, who'd probably try to have your friends arrested," Sirius said.

"Key word there, try," Rigel said, smiling, "Brad would kill them if they tried it. And that's nothing compared to what his little sister would do. For a six-year-old, she is without a doubt the scariest person on this planet."

"I can't wait to meet her then," Ginny said, grinning evilly. Rigel chuckled, before putting away his book (he was nearly done with it, but had lost interest in it for now) and pulled out another one (_Making Children MIND without Losing YOURS_ by Dr. Kevin Leman). At Ginny and Luna's raised eyebrows he shrugged.

"Have to know how to deal with the Potter brat don't I?" Sirius snorted, and the girls laughed.

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"I don't see him Lils, do you?" James asked her.

"No James, I don't. And don't call me Lils," Lily replied. Both of them were looking for their youngest son, and failing miserably.

"Maybe he decided not to come after all," Lucas said.

"Lucas," Lily scolded lightly, "Don't be like that. Don't you want to meet your twin?"

"Not really," Lucas muttered, before speaking up louder, "Yes, mum." The train whistle sounded.

"Oh dear," Lily said, "You'd best get on the train sweetie. We'll meet you at Hogwarts." Lily was the Muggle Studies professor, while James taught Transfiguration to years one through three. Lily kissed him on the head.

"_Mum!_" Lucas whined, "Don't do that! You'll mess up my hair!"

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The minute Lucas got on the train he noticed that everyone was talking about the mysterious men in the last compartment with Ginny and Loony Lovegood. He frowned at the lack of attention being paid to him. His eyes narrowed and he headed to the back of the train with Hermione and Ron trailing behind him.

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Feel free to adopt this story. If you do, please remember to PM me so I may add your penname below.

Adopted by:

Zakura16 (userid = 3201248)


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